Monday, May 2, 2011
@ 5:00 PM
I shouldn't come back actually. i have make another bad decision again and yes i regretted. Every time planned to go out but after that the plan will become nothing. Two consecutive days. Yesterday planned to go in JB but due to no money and traffic jam we decided not to go den i thought of going to watch a movie before went in to JB at 10.30pm and also since last Wednesday we didn't get to watch. But in the end we still don get to watch. and sitting in the car just to watch you sleeping..The first disappointment.
Chose to come back yesterday because i want to go out with you and also you cancelled the meeting and i still rmb you said if i go in you will go out alone today so i chose to be back but yet another disappointment again.I don know what is the purpose you saying that u will be going out alone. you are just saying for fun or what? i don know i don get it too.. you apologized to me you told me you don't know where to go ,you don have money, no car,still got a lot of work to do and feeling very sian just feel like staying at home.. all these are excuses isn't it? will you tell her the same things also? i bet no...you will not tell her that you will just go out with her instead..every time you said i think too much but isn't it that is the fact? why every time i chose to be quiet don wan to say anything that is because i afraid that i will cry in front of you once i say like now i am crying in front of laptop while typing all these.. From the start you already planned not to go out with me isn't it? if so you can just tell me straight and i will not come back yesterday i will stay there, you don have to come in in the middle of the night just to drive me back.
BTW i know i will owe you a word i will said it now.THANKS! THANKS FOR DRIVING ME BACK YESTERDAY. i know you hate to drive in lately because is dangerous so i am really thankful that you came in yesterday and i know you really do hate me too as you keep saying yesterday.
But after all this is not the outcome that i want at all. two consecutive days. is it a revenge? because i didn't go pulau ubin with you last week. its really hurtful really...i guess i will not plan anything again. whatever i say where i wan to go all will become nothing..whatever i said are always rubbish like said it for fun not important to you at all.
EVERYTHING ARE JUST AN EXCUSE. if you don't have the heart,you don't want to go out with me you can just tell me straight. I REGRETTED FOR WHAT I HAD CHOSE WHAT I HAD DO. REALLY FUCK UP WITH EVERYTHING!